Distance

I am so stressed about everything. Call me over-thinking, maybe i really do.

And these hard times make me thinking about the past, how nice things could've been, how much i missed it and of course them, yes, i miss them with every single piece of my heart.
Hv you ever feel those feeling when you miss someone so damn much till it hurts? and all you wanna do just run into that person and hug him or her?

I mean like, they used to be my home, i used to face the 'i know i'm going to do something that i don't like but that's all fine, am gonna do it with them anyway' times and now its all gone, hard times feels even harder.
screw that line 'nothing can separate us.' The fact is distance just did.
Not the real 'distance', the fact is we're all still in the same place, we're all still breath with the same air, but we just can't do whatever we like,
its sad to think about that we still do the same thing in the morning as we always do in the past, talk about how not ready you are to get up in the morning, we shared the same feelings, we're all about to do things that we don't like BUT, separately. We do go to school every morning, in the same time, but, we're all in a different track now, things that you need to face and i need to face now is completely different.

I miss those feeling, the happiness that once i felt when i knew that there's still the next day, a chance to love and being loved by them.
I miss those random talks about the future that we used to talk about, how we're all gonna be when we graduated from higschool and which university you want to take and so on.
I miss those random talks about shitty things like math, physics, and all the subjects.
I miss those time when we shared the same hard times
and of course I miss it, when we're all finally made it in the end♥

You're on your way, and i'm on my way either. But i can't see you anymore like i used to
Some things better be just the way they are, like, please do not ever change.
i hate the fact that everything needs to change. screw that line. i love things just the way it is, even the imperfect ones, i wish i'd never grown up

Indonesia's Independence Day

I've to say that its a latepost, its already Aug18th but still,

Happy Independence Day for my beloved Indonesia! Its been 68years! how cool is that? Feeling old yet? Hope for the best in the future, i am totally into you, and i am so proud to be one of a million Indonesian, i am a hundred percent Indonesian<3

Seperti 9 tahun sebelumnya, 17 agustus itu selalu upacara, dan tahun ini agak beda dengan 3 tahun terakhir, okay bahkan 9 tahun itu sendiri. Ceritanya tahun ini sekolah mengadakan upacara satu yayasan, iya satu yayasan, jadi begitulah dari yang masih imut-imut sampai bangkotan digabungin di satu lapangan untuk upacara, satu-satunya hal yang bisa kita lakuin secara langsung dan bersamaan dan bisa dibilang gamblang untuk menghormati jasanya pahlawan kita sampai kita sendiri bisa berdiri disini, kenapa dibilang gamblang? Karna bisa dibilang ini bukan kemauan hati semuanya, ini emang kewajiban sekolah, ya harus ditaati.

Gue sendiri sih biasa-biasa aja, ya ayo-ayo saja. Tapi lain kata lain hati, gue enjoy upacaranya, gangguannya cuma panas aja, tapi gue tumben sekali mikir, 

"Gimana rasanya berdiri 68tahun yang lalu dan menyaksikan secara langsung teks proklamasi dibacakan secara langsung, dan bisa merasakan kebebasan untuk berdiri tegak di negara kita sendiri, melihat bendera Merah-Putih dikibarkan pertama kali bersamaan dengan kata kemerdekaan itu sendiri, mendengarkan Indonesia Raya yang akhirnya saat itu bisa dinyanyikan dengan hati bersyukur bisa bernafas di tanah air sendiri?" And i was like, 'that would be an epic-willneverbeforgotten-moment in a person' life':')

Panas 2jam itu ngga ada apa-apanya sama sehari penjajahan, dan bayarannya itu ribuan pulau yang sekarang bisa dinikmati setiap meter bahkan inchi-nya sama kita. 

But there's always a still,

pastinya Indonesia belom bisa dibilang merdeka sepenuhnya sampai ke detail, Indonesia baru merdeka dari garis besarnya aja dan baru merdeka dari jajahan negara lain, tapi belom berhasil bangkit dan merdeka dari masalah di dalam Indonesia-nya sendiri, dari jajahan diri sendiri, rakyatnya pun kebanyakkan begitu, bisa dibilang gue salah satunya, gue nggamau memungkiri, mental block masih terlalu banyak disana-sini;') kadang gue juga sering mengalami, padahal ini salah satu jalan yang bisa bawa kegagalan.

Life is a big unfair game, so deal with it, you need to know the strategy, to be out of the box so they'll notice, but STILL they will judge you anyway, its like nah, no matter what

Indonesia itu negara besar, punya pengaruh, kaya sama alamnya, cuma butuh orang yang tepat yang rela melakukan pekerjaan negara setulusnya, yang cinta tanah air dan mau kerja bersih untuk 'ngebersihin' negara ini dari semua coretan yang udah terlanjur kegaris.

Semua rakyat punya harapan besar sama pemimpin, petinggi atau paling ngga sama orang yang masih mampu untuk kasih perubahan besar yang menguntungkan,

harapan gue sendiri tentu aja Indonesia bisa bersih dari segala 'coretan' terlanjur itu, bisa dapet pemimpin yang tepat yang kerja sebagai 'satu individu yang mau memberhasilkan jalan-nya Indonesia, membersihkan Indonesia dan rakyatnya, tanpa membawa unsur ras dan derajat karna semua rakyat itu sama.'

Karna kita ngga butuh pemimpin kaya tapi ngga merakyat, karena gue sendiri ngerasa dengan ngerakyat, dengan mendengar langsung dan melihat langsung apa yang salah itu satu-satunya jalan, dicari apa sumbernya, langsung ke rakyatnya, dan ya, kadang pemerintah harus liat social media, justru itu adalah suara jujur rakyat, respon jujur ttg semuanya. 

So, happy birthday my dearest Indonesia, i am all yours, i will try to do my best to keep your name flying high, higher than the magnificent red and white flag, the one who brings your name, wish me luck to bring your name wherever i go, to make you proud that i'm one of yours,

I thank God for created such a wonderful place just like you, 

68years isn't it? aren't you feeling old? i hope you are not, we love you, i might be somewhere else in this world, they could just drag me out of you, they could threw me away from you, but there's a thing i know for sure, no one in this world that could take you away from me, you're the red in my blood, and the pureness in my soul, thank God for all of ths thing, for its good, for its beauty, for every single thing that made this place called Indonesia even more beautiful than it was.

Hi again, August

Time is running and it left me behind with all of these things. Hi August, honestly, you showed up too fast again this time, but its okay, i want christmas already anw

Its true that school's off for a week, but it doesn't mean that i can just laying in my bed and letting my mind going anywhere as i always do in most of my free time, there's so much homework to do, and i really mean it. This far there's like eight or nine tasks that i have to do, well kay...

Forget about all of those school thingy, i just got back from went to see The Conjuring! I think its good, and seriously am screaming like an annoyin'girl or something like that, thankyou sella and agastya for being there and scream with me, we are the best i know:')
And..........


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O-My-Goodness, those things was wrote by me 5 days ago and i haven't done with it and obviously forgot to post it. So here i am, 3 days before going back to school, there's still 5 tasks to do, a hundreds pictures to upload and bunch of words to say:'))
I've to say that i had a good 2 days with my family this time, i love them even more and more, as i hate school also even more and more

Bytheway i've decided start to read a really good book, i mean the useful ones, am starting with the famous The Phantom of The Opera, is it useful? well idk
I need inspiration for my english speech, seriously am no good at all at speaking and i don't know what to talk about.

The point is, please, be nice, just be nice okay, all of you, every little details, just pls be nice, am still tired, i think tired has became one of my personality traits or something and i don't know how to handle it. So, pls.