Get-ting

Feels like its been a long time since i post something in this page, i have reasons kay,
- Wifi connection sucks
- Im so motivated to do nothing
- Those things who's been running on my mind lately couldn't  be remembered, don't you ask me why
- School is only a few days away

A break, summer-break, holiday or whatever they call it like i give a damn, is about to end, I've wasted a month, precisely, a month and you can say that i got nothing, but at least i got my room cleaned. Im so happy about it:):)


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About a week or a couple weeks ago, my dad got a call from one of our family that one of our relative, you may say, just passed away. We called her 'Oma' in Bahasa means 'Grandma' in English, her age that made her have to face the truth, even her child let her go, they believe that it is her time to go.
Maybe its the truth. When i get something like this, it always reminds me that I'm getting older, the world is getting older, well-yea people do, but it just feels more real than usual.

When i was a little, 5year-old or something, i always think how life is gonna be, how is it when the time is come, when those people who i've been calling 'grandpa-ma' have to go,  and how about those high-school years that I have to survive on, and will i become those high-school girls that looks so mature and talking about boys or stuffs like make up, fashion and all about them, how is it, what is that, what if and so on, I'm terrified, i don't want to, but
Here i am, enjoying every second of it, i do talk about boys, fashion, the latest stuffs, things have changed, of course, but I'm so sure, that those 5 year old me is still inside of me, she still wondering about the next life, she always want to know, and i tell you something, she's trying so hard to keep herself standing-still, to not to be those girls that she doesn't want to be when she was 5.

It scares me the fact that I'm getting old, for an example, i can vote in the next election, in the next 5 years, i will be officially legal in a year and few months. It might be sounds exciting for some, but the reality is terrifying.

I have to be mature and grown up someday.
But the thing is i still feel like a child, who always need her mom, loves her milk warm, cry when something doesn't feel right when she wakes up, keep dreaming something that impossible, laughing so loud and not giving a damn about what people think, makes a lot of mistakes and cry so hard at night when think about them, yet I'm so excited to be an adult.