Relationship(t)

So, what is the first thing came up in your mind when you heard the word "Relationship"?

The first thing that came up in my mind is a connection, two people, et cetera.

So to be really honest, what is it, what is this thing all about?

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Geez, who really knows?

No one really can describe it.

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I've been with this 'someone' these past 2 years, therefore, I'm new at this thing, i know nothing about this crap. But, 2 years is about the 720 days or so, it is more than a hundred, and it's not a small amount of days, 

and let me tell you what, each and every day i learned a lot from this 'relationship' thingy. 

Yang namanya mencoba untuk menyatukan dua hal yang nggak sama itu akan selalu jadi 'percobaan' namanya, and you'll never now how it will go. Bisa berhasil, dan ada kemungkinan untuk gagal, gagalnya pun kadang ada yang kalem-kalem aja cuma tidak berfungsi tapi ada juga yang meledak kemana-mana, dramatis dan painful which i'm sure you guys you know what i really mean.

Orang bilang ini cuma enak diawal, tidak bisa dipungkiri itu ada benarnya juga. It's not that i'm complaining or something, but it is true.

Bulan-bulan pertama emang semuanya menyenangkan, semuanya baik, kekurangan kecil masing-masing pihak is still acceptable, berantemnya cuma gara-gara hal kecil kayak chat, salah ngomong dan sebagainya, tipe-tipe masalah yang kalau ketemu langsung juga udah ketawa lagi (or is it just me?)

But then you'll realize a lot lot lot lot of things,

relationship isn't all about the flowery, the ticklish feelings and all the stuffs like that the whole time, is all about get to know to someone, mengenal lebih jauh seseorang.

I think, this part is the bittersweet part of the relationship. 

At first, most people kind of expecting good things came out from this someone like all the time, and this is where it all started...

A good first impression nggak akan terus bertahan karena ya mana ada yang mau menunjukkan sisi jeleknya ke orang lain yang baru dikenal?

Sifat asli seseorang juga akan muncul dengan seiringnya waktu berjalan, karena selama itu juga kita jalan bareng, being a partner for each other, akan mulai kenal siapa dia sebenarnya, dia akan kenal siapa kita sebenarnya. Bersyukur kalo tetap masih bisa cocok reaksinya, kadang orang disini pun udah nggak tahan dan bilangnya, "kita udah nggak cocok" "kita nggak punya kesamaan" and even worse, "kamu berubah" like dude, the heck is wrong with you?! Dari awal juga mana ada manusia yang langsung cocok sama yang lainnya, mana ada yang sama, it's not that you're dating with your clone or something.

In conclusion, i think relationship is not about 

"lagi apa? udah makan?"

"i love you so much"

"i miss you" 

"nanti kalo udah gede emang kamu cita-citanya apa"

for me, a relationship is all about (or should be),

"ayo makan bareng dulu, baru kerjain yang lain nanti"

"kita cari jalan yang terbaik biar sama-sama sukses"

"kamu coba sekolah ini aja aku udah browsing katanya bagus"

"hari ini kamu yang pimpin doa"

"kayak gitu nggak baik, jangan begitulah, kamu salah"

"mama/papa/kakak/adek gimana?"

and saying the terms i love you by words, for me isn't really necessary because showing it is more important. 

Dan 'relationship' itu memang diperuntukkan untuk 2 pihak, tapi nggak juga sepenuhnya begitu, dalam kedua belah pihak itu teman dan keluarga juga pasti akan terlibat, mengenal lebih jauh itu nggak hanya pasangan kita aja tapi juga keluarga dan teman-temannya, especially keluarganya, kunci disini adalah ketulusan hati menurut gue, hati yang tulus itu gak akan ditolak, gak bisa dibohongi. Jangan berpikir untuk mendekati keluarga dia karena mau kelihatan lebih baik di mata dia. It is so lame.

Dan ada beberapa terms and condition yang harus ditepati atau diperhatikan menurut gue dalam suatu hubungan  yaitu adalah;

'Family comes first'

'Me-time is important'

'Saying thank you and please, show some respect to each other is a must'

'Love your ownself first'

'Keep all the problems only between two of us'

About fighting for your partner, i think we have to know the limits. If it hurts you more than anything, leave it, you deserve better. Relationship is not easy, love is demanding sacrifices but if you're the one who is sacrificing and your someone is not, it is wrong. One thing that we should remember really well,  relationship is just a phase, it is not like he or she is 'the one' right away, take your time.

In other way, pasangan kita juga mencerminkan kita saat itu, kalau nggak bener ya harus tanya diri sendiri juga apakah kita juga nggak bener selama ini. 

Nggak ada yang tahu bagaimana cara menjalankan hubungan dengan benar tapi waktu yang mengajarkan, oh ya and by the way, the best part of relationship besides the love that you got is the chance to growing up together with your partner. You both become wiser, stronger and realistic and open-minded as the time goes by. At least, however it was.

Bukan mau menggurui atau apa, but i think we all should keep it in our mind that relationship isn't always sweet, it is extremely painful, it's not as easy as it seems, it could be stressful in some point and it isn't always a happy ending. But one thing for sure, it is a valuable lessons we can learn, all of them, each and every day is valuable. And the love, if it's real, it is all worth the pain.

Dan ya, ini bukan pasangan mana yang paling romantis, bukan berapa banyak bunga yang udah dikasih (dan terus pas layu dibuang) dan berapa banyak kata-kata manis yang udah diucapkan, bukan soal foto selfie berdua mana yang paling bagus, bukan soal berapa lama hubungannya, tapi ini soal siapa yang paling bijaksana untuk bisa melakukan yang terbaik dari dirinya dengan tujuan membangun pasangannya tanpa mengkhawatirkan apa yang bisa pasangannya lakukan untuk dirinya.

There's more that i still want to talk about but it's currently 1:44 AM and i've promised myself and him to get up at 6 this morning for a morning run. 

By the way, happy Christmas Eve dearest folks, tho i'm not really sure someone will read this thing but i'd like to pretend that I'm talking to someone because i like to reread all of the posts in my blog hehehehe

Aimless but still; Blessed

First thing first, I missed this blog so much.

So i've passed my 11th grade and here we are on our last year on senior high school. This is happening guys, we're gonna get into college in a year. 

It sounds crazy to me.

Im so blessed to have all of these things, i mean i can get through things i didn't know i could, 11th grade was crazy as fudge, and it was the fastest period i must say, or it is just me. But it is all over and done with, a new chapter of my life is about to start and for the very first time in my life I'm scared, i just don't know how to start and how to survive this time. But i still have one thing that i believe will keep me through, i have my faith to God. Every single thing is gonna be just fine.

Im just gonna get my courage up and start this chapter. Fingers-crossed.

But i can't lie to myself, that aimless would be the right word to describe me right now. I don't know which path i should take, and what is the right thing to do. It is hard for me because I'm not that kind of people that just like to let it flow and just following the fate as it is, i prefer to be prepared and have a strategy when I'm facing it, and i know that it would be the death of me if i keep doing this because a great journey is not the prepared one.

This too shall past. I will get back to my feet, I'm getting there.

Im planning so much thing for this blog but none of it is happening. I just hope that myself can be upgraded in 2015, I'm hoping for the new me, the better behave, strong and a lot better.

Nothing shall be impossible, but for now I'm on the summer-break, well there's no summer here in Indonesia, it is just a month school-break. 

This holiday was started not really well because i got sick and have to stay at the hospital for like 3 days, and my plans were some kind of ruined, but it is okay, I'm all healthy now anyway.

The fact that it is already 2nd of July is creeping me out. Time is flying too fast that I'm feeling like i couldn't catch with it.

But i'm still grateful for every little thing in my life that i can get through a lot of things this past 2 years, I'm growing up, I'm going to be 17th this year, I'm on my senior year now, and in less than a week I'm gonna have my coronation day in Church to be one of the servant in my Church, I'm grateful for the chance God has given to me.

Godspeed xx,

Nicole 

Over and Done with

So, based on this post title, i've done my assignment, it supposed to be done a long time ago if i didn't waste my time, yeah I'm a procrastinator, you could give me 5 years to do my homework and i wouldn't the work until the night before.

The assignment was a paper about the impacts of a healthy environment to people's health, its something like that, it was kinda challenging and making me so stressful for awhile because we have to do the research by ourselves directly in the spot so we went to the Central of Java for a week it was all fun yet still so challenging, but it is over and done with, people. 

Im all happy now, even if i know this happiness wouldn't last long, i've 2 more assignments, but i think the paper is the most challenging one,

i wasn't able to sleep for days before the due, it was driving me insane, for the first time in my life i didn't went to sleep for more than day and i didn't really feel sleepy, i was like "I have to finish this thing right now!!!!" and i ended up exhausted, but today, I'm enjoying my time as well, since tomorrow is the chinese new year so there will be no school. I made my self sandwiches.

My life is kinda somewhere between exams, assignments, homework that honestly sometimes made me cry myself at night because i don't know the heck I'm doing.

Ive been looking for some mood booster lately, and ended up addicted to it, so I've been watching vlogs in the youtube for like these past months and i found myself addicted to them, currently I'm watching the vlogs from itsbubz(https://www.youtube.com/user/Bubzvlogz/videos) and andymetsonia(https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK8V4Zy9N3tRoUcRBMGQZIQ)

you guys should take a click and see them, i fell in love with their babies.

Im going to enjoy my last sandwich piece, they felt really nice, i stuffed them with chocolate milk and butter.

i miss this blog a lot.

TO A BETTER ME!

This person over here, whose first post in 2015 is so late, she is going to make a difference!
So me and him, we decided to make a little life-style changing, not so much, not yet
and I'm going to write it down here so that i can re-read those things all over again and (hopefully) get re-motivated when I'm about to lose it all;

1. Drink plenty of water; this thing has been on my list of my resolution for the past months, it is so hard for me to drink a lot of water, i just don't get used to it
2. Eat more colorful and try to reduce the amount of my pale food such as rice, bread or pasta
3. No more buying snacks; yeah i hate this point so much
4. No Soda-drinks, and any sugary kind of drinks
5. Sleep earlier

This might be seem easy for some of you guys out there, but not for me, i love fizzy drinks, i love snacking especially when it comes to something with cheese such as nachos and cheesy fries.
Yet, it is12:58 AM past midnight and I'm still awake.

Okay so, let's do it, for a better me!