How it feels

So this is how it feels, it feels like no one is on the same track with you, they are so hard to be found, you know that they are somewhere in this crowd, but you just don't know and you are too scared to tell people how you feels, to looking for them, you are as scared as them.
And a true friend means the world for me now, and a laughter is too worthy to be skipped, it feels so damn good if someone could make me laugh, and i can't tell you how i miss my own laughter back then in junior highschool, i mean it, and now it feels like i can't laugh without my sadness tears on my eyes, am dying of my sadness-laugh.

And the pressure, it seriously shocked me at the first time, am just trying to keep my self still hang on my first purpose to be that damn success woman, titled doctor and helping people, as i've promised to my mom and what i've said in my prayers, if someday i could make it happen. And i will do!

Nobody told me that it would be this hard, even though i know it wouldn't be easy.
Aaaaand, unfortunately, me yes me, definitely not a math-person, i wish i was, well yea i wish