I will be

A random thoughts just pass me by, later in the future, i promise you guys i will be a good mom lol yes, thank you for my mother who has raised me well so i can think the way i do now.
Being a mom would be so special and fun yet so tiring, I can see it but if you guys look further in moms' eyes they would say 'it's okay, i live my life for my child' and they wouldn't mind do anything just to make their child happy.

Like i said before, having a twin will be one of my dreams, a boy and a girl, and my life would be purrfect. I would name them Keith for the boy, and Faith for the girl. Lol even to think about them bring me happiness.

So this is the reasons why i would be a good mother,
1. I will love them as much as i love cookies and cream ice cream, even more than that, it means more than i love myself bcs i love cookiesandcream more than myself.

2. I will love my child's father. And why i put this on one of the reasons? Well, they said if you love the father, you will love the child even more and more.

3. I will read them a lot of great books and tell them uhmaaazing stories, i will let them use their imagination, with me. We will fly to the sky to see the unicorns eating cotton candy while laying on the soft clouds and we will ask them for some cotton candy. Yes, kid, we will, i promise you

4. I will let them eat my food, as much as they want, and it must be someone special who i share my food with. We will eat chococake as much as we want to, dear, and not even your father can stop it, we will share everything we have.

5. I will let them use my stuffs. I will let the girl use my heels, clothes, or make-ups, someday they will use them either right?

6. We will laugh at stupid things together. I will laugh with them, even though i don't understand what they're trying to say, whatever makes them happy, it makes me happy too.

7. I will buy them a christmas,birthday, or 'i-just-wantto-buy-you-a-present' presents. There will be a lot of surprises.

8. I will sleep with them on their rough nights like when we just watch a horror movie or something, or kind of night when they just need their mommy. I will snuggle up with them and sleep with them until the morning comes.
And i will share my bed with them, they can sleep in my room anytime.

9. I will trust them. Even if they think everything seems impossible, even though i can feel it too, i will trust them no matter what.

10. I will write things about them so they can reread their childhood all over again and again. I will take a lot pictures.

11. I will be their bestestfriend. We will share secrets. They can tell me about their crush, about boy or girl, school, about their  problems, everydamnthing.

12. I will be their 'home'. I will try to dedicate myself for them, whenever they feel lonely, sad or failing i will be there even if all i can do is just snuggle up with them and telling them that everything is gonna be alright. Or i will make them a cup or two of hot chocolate.

13. I will be there for them, i promise. I will catch them, i will be right a step behind them in every step that they take, i will cheering for them when the world seems wanted them to break down.

14. I will be their biggest fan, number one supporter, i will be the one who jump the highest for them, screaming the loudest and laugh the hardest. My love will be unconditionally, unstoppable and unlimited. Even if i haven't seen them.

15. I will try my best. Seriously.

rêves

I have a lot of dreams, like really a lot of dreams......
I want to be a doctor
i want to be a good writer, maybe a guitarist
i want to be a traveler
i want to build my own house, i want to design my own room
i want to have my own pug
i want to go to NYC and France
i want to laying down in grass looking upon the stars with people who i care the most
i want to have a twin (a boy and a girl) someday
i want to be a great short movie maker
i want to record my whole life with my camera
i want to make a journal about my life so i can reread it all over again whenever i want to
i want someone to sing with me on top of our lungs and not giving a damn about how terrible our voice are
i want to be a designer and design my child clothes
i want to make a lot of great books, a funny one
i want to be great at cooking
i want to have a special room in my house in the future just like a home theater but the greatest one
i want to have my own library
i want to go somewhere that i've never been there
i want to touch the clouds, it looks funny but grumpy, seriously some of them just look grumpy
i want a friendship just like on the how i met your mother series
i want a guy bestfriend just like on the jane by design series
i want to see the unseen things
i want to celebrate new year on the beach
i want to celebrate new year on the road, screaming at people that i don't know and just wave and smile
i want everyone in my life to be happy
i want to be good at maths
i want to have a tree house
i want to hear someone singing on the beach with a guitar
i want to dedicate my life just to my family in the future
i want to be a super mom! just like mine
i want my kids to be my bestfriends
i want to see my kid at a concert or somewhere their passions are
i want to hold a penguin and a baby bear
i want to drive away in the middle of soft rain and well yea in the night
i want a journey
i want to live till i see my child has made it and happy
i want to travel around the world with my bestfriends
i want to have my secret closet or secret room
i want to have my own pattiserie or cafe or restaurant, a vintage one
i just want to be okay
i dont want my life to bea picture of perfection, a problem will make someone stronger, i just want to be happy

What If I Told You

So its me, just went back from the hospital, went to see my uncle that got sick so he has to spending a few days on the hospital, get well really soon, unc!♥

It brings me so much happiness, i mean to see my whole family, not really means the whole 'whole', but they're all there, gathered in a room and based on my exp they're all don't even care when-how-or where is it they will be there to gathered as a team, laughing with each other and came with the same purpose to give a support to my unc, one of us, even if its just telling him 'get well soon' and pray for him, but that means a world.
And am so grateful to have all this kind of thing on my life, and suddenly this thought came up on my mind, 'well screw all of those pressure, what so ever what am doing, am doing it for them, am gonna beat this thing up and in the end i could make them proud to have me."

♦♦♦♦

And what is it? Why this post titled 'what if i told you'? So there's another random thoughts that popped out on my head. And this thing brings me to write all of these words,

sooooo, "What if I told you that tomorrow, when you're awake from your sleep, you gonna lose all of your memories, every single memories, and you won't be able to recognize your family, even your parents. Its just the things you've learned in school and your name that left. The rest is well, lost."

The question is, "How you gonna take this thing? what are you gonna do first?"
"One thing that you will regret if you gonna lose it, one thing that you thought that would never be forgotten"
"And who you gonna miss so bad, even if you just thinking about the idea to forget she or he or them?"

For me, even its just thinking about the idea, it seriously makes me sad, i mean, the memories itself is the thing that keep me alive, the story of my family is one of them, the fact that i will against the pressure for them....

And the thing that i will regret if it happens to me is definitely those memories of my family, when i was a little ones until now that i'm a almost15th-highschooler, and my 3 years of junior high school, i thought they will never be forgotten.
And for the secondquest, mymom, literally, and my besties, my partners in crime, this question made me having that ' i want to  meet them right now' feelings.

I've asked this questions to a few people and based on their answers, the point is the loss of the bff-goodtime-memories that will be a regret and family is the one will be missed so damn much and of course bestfriends is the second-one and a lover they said lol, or their first love, this kind of answer made my laugh:)) You can answer it for yourself, honestly, this questions and all of the idea has gave me a lot of thoughts that contained of what-how-and what if

Just wave your magicwand, use your imagination, no one knows the truth for tomorrow or the next day well no one will ever know about the future, it always been a mystery and no one can change these fact, always means forever, right? At least that's how it must be

Dream-Prom

Friday, July 05, 2013. 10:58
Today is all about dreaming! Fri-dream-day♥

So this post will be about my promnight in senior higschool, less then 3 years from now on,

I want something about glamourous, modern-espanola, and carnival in an extraordinary way, to show people who we really  or who we wanted to be, to be out of the box, to prove our freedom and our hearts, to express what we want.
I want my dress look like this one, i made the design my self, don't judge i can't draw:

It's high and low skirt, and it's black, red satin and perfect, maybe 3 years from now people would say this dress old-fashioned, like that would be matter to me, i even think about the rose seriously, that sounds weird but i love it that way:))

Back to the prom, i imagined that it would be all perfect and fun, everybody participates, we hired a one or two hosts, photographers so everybody can enjoy the party, everything was set perfectly so we can just let it begin like press the 'play' button, to start the night.
The prom's set to hold at a hotel ballroom, or an auditorium, something like that, we magically turn it into a perfect place for that night, it's all dark, blue and purple, with an incredible lightings.

First thing first, we're all gathered in the lobby, to take pictures at the photo-booth, with whoever you want to. Then the music starts to play.

We're all in the ballroom now, it's standing party, so everybody start to gathering in the front of the stage, there's a table of course, everybody go find their happiness on their own but in the same kind of ways, meet their friends, taking pictures, laughing, and dancing,

Party and Bullsht by Rita Ora
Broken Hearted by Karmin, to tell someone how long you've been waiting for them, "so can we finish what we started? don't you leave me broken hearted tonight." lol, the irony
Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus is on. Bring us happiness from head to toe, everybody looks so different.

Let's skip the dinner part, and now it's time for the bands, little dance or slow dance is about to be come,

To Be With You, to remind you that it's the last chance to be honest that you're the one who wants to be with her or him

No Ordinary Love by MYMP, it is getting more blurry, some couple start to crowded the dance floor, the rest is just smiling and singing along.

Only Reminds Me of You by MYMP, to remind you all of the heartbreaks on your highschool years, how good it feels, how bad it feels and so on, how hurt love is.. "how could i ever let you go, is it too late to let you know?"

So Close by Mclauglin to bring your promdate or someone to do some littler-awkward-slow dance, that am sure will be an unforgotable moment.

And yep, now moving on and let the sadness go away, next playlist, now everybody seems like they are having their times of their lives.

Someday We'll know by New Radicals for the mellow-time closing.

Aaaaaand, We Are Young by Fun is on! The sticklights is begin to lifted up, and no, it won't ended so soon, Some Nights it's next, everybody seems so happy until it feels hurts bcs you just realized that the next day it won't be like this time anymore, we're all not the same people anymore, so many different directions has been taken.
But it's fine for a while, we're having fun,

now, it's time for your promdate' performance! Soooo excited, he performs the Michael Buble' song, Save The Last Dance for Me!!! now all things seems soo perfect to you,  he started to sing, he hold your hand and  take you to the stage, to do some salsa with him, you don't care with how he or you moves, you just laugh and do some retard salsa moves with him, and it's just that fun., how he look into your eyes when the lyrics said, "And don't forget who's taking you home, and in whose arms you gonna be, so darling, save the last dance for me." AND, "Baby, don't you know i love you so? Can't you feel it when we touch? I will never never let you go, I love you oh so much."

Now you back to your friends, he, your promdate has one song left, It's A Beautiful Day, still Buble's song to sing. So it's on. The music brings happiness, even if about a broke-up couple, he is moved on, so it all fine in the end, to remind you the past, how your oldcrushes or exes broke your heart and now you can say, "I'm glad that you're the one that got away. It's a beautiful day."

Time Flies. Now it's the flashback time! The video's playing, you can see yourself and your friends back then, you and the others laughing, and even crying at the same time, and you don't even know how to feel, everything seems so fine and you don't want to go but you can't,


The Last Song, everybody make a circle, a huge circle, Forever Young, is begin to play, and oh you can see your friends, started to cry and laugh, the huge circle started to move and you sing along together with them, even screaming like who the hell care what it sounds like, "hoping for the best but expecting the worse" "Forever young, i want to be forever young do you really wanna  live forever, forever, forever young." ♥
And hugs, tears even kisses is not even enough to express your feelings to them, how you love them so much, how much you want to relive those moment again, forever and ever

Monster University, Now You See Me, and life

I've watched those two, and i have to say, am in love with both of them, i've been waiting for ages to see Monster University, and am happy is worth to wait. lol. I love Squishy!!!! Just wondering how great The Walt Disney is for making kids' dreams and imaginations alive and can be seen just like these days, you do have my respect since the first time i watch your movies, Sir♥

Now You See Me, well i don't know what to say, is awesooooome! Tricky, useful, it makes you happy, laugh and force you to think at the same time, recommended, it is surprised me, and unpredictable, you have to watch it! thinking about learning some magic trick, lol.

And how is life? i've decided to start learning about making an essay, need a tons of luck!

The senior high school  thing is getting closer and am about to be ready, June is about to be ended, it ended so soon, doesn't it?

Am in my way to chase my dream, i've made a dream note, too embarassing to be shown on this blog, so i'll just keep it for my self, have decided to add a new one, Get A Scholarship! for FKUI, and am trying to keep my self on the right track to keep believe that God has a bigger and greater plan for me. So that's it, that's how and i will always try to keep my self be fine! doodles

The Right One

I don't know what is it until the idea to write this post came up, but about the right one, am only 15(almost) and i think it's normal to have someone to picturing who is the right one i want to be mine.
Well i don't know who is it, but Keenan Pearce is one in a million, maybe.

Well, i want someone who can accept my family, especially my parents. For whatsoever it is, they are what they are and i want you to accept all of them, like, they are my priorities.
And am looking for someone who is able to accept me in every condition, i mean like i have nothing and he has nothing, and we can start all over from the nothing itself.
The most important thing is he is believe in God, give everything of he had to God, i need that kind of person to walk with me in every situation and give my faith back, to make me believe.

And all of the physically thing, well let's just take it as a bonus.

And the other important thing is, i need someone who believe my weirdnesses, and be weird-awkward with me.
I have learned about, put your heart in God's hands, and He will give it to the one who deserve it♥

School's Hunger Games and Zombie Apocalypse I

Hey, so now look at the title.
Wouldn't it be awesome? i mean you'll be able to kill all the bitches and guys you hate and won't get into jail. That's the point. Well, except you killed first by someone else.

So this post is just a kind of my random-minded and shitty post that made by me and my friends and maybe i would like to make it into a few posts,so it just started with just imagine that....
One day you were in school studying subjects with all of your classmates then suddenly someone from the central, talk to the microphone to all over the school [maybe it could be much easier if it's just all of my generation],
 "For all the students, we just got an information from the central government, this world is crashing down especially our country, the governments can't do anything about this and wars is raging all around the world. Too many population have lived in this century and it started to getting lost control. There's nothing we can do except a population reduction. No words can't describe how sorry we are to do such this thing. We hope you want to understand this condition."

Everybody start to get a panic-attack. But still, everybody is in silence and no one knows what to say. Their face told everything, that they don't want to do this and how scared they're.
"Please all of you get into a group which is consisted with 5 persons and it must be male and female. And find your own quarter. As soon as possible. The game is about to start 15minutes from now on.
All of the basicneeded supplies and weapons are provided in the quarter, you must find the quarter. Get into your group now!"

Everybody start to running all over directions to find their besties to make their own group, confused faces is all you can see wherever you move your eyes. The girls start to cry and hug each other ridiculously. You just stand there thinking about, 'no i'm not gonna give up and die in this stupid heartless game the goverments have made. You bitches better watch out of my existences.'

So you find your friends and start to run and find your own quarter. You found it. It's the furthest classroom with a door and so many glasseswindows that could make people see what and who is inside the class. You know is not going to be great, but there's no choice, you have to take the supplies and weapons. And stay until the central man tell us what to do next. Is not going to be great bcs if the game's started, your group will have a difficulties to get out of the class and people will kill you first.
They give us basicneeded like foods and water that made you think to urself, 'holyshut, we're 5 and it's about only for 3 anorexias.'

There's no choice except being brave and strong at the moment, avoiding the attacks would be great, don't touch other people unless they hurt you would be a great strategy either. And if you look further, it would be so much fun if you survived. IF.you.survived.

***

3......2.......1, Start!

you can hear the bells ringing warning about death. The doors all over the place is opened in a not so nice way. They start to run with their scared eyes, they even forget about the group thing. They only care about being alive to get the hell out this friggin' place. They use their weapons. The only thing you cared about. They start to kill each other like for real...

"We are group! Stay close each other, and protect each other. I know we can survive. Please be safe and smart. The instruction told us to kill as much as we can and survive, didn't it? I know we can." you said to the group. They nods and you knew you are right to choose them as a partner. They are strong and maybe not even thinking about giving up.

You and your group make it. Five of your group which means no one is missing or killed. You will be able to step into the next step, with the other 11groups. 60persons left. After a long 8hours fighting.

It's a really dark night, you and your group have to sleep in your quarter. So you are there laying in the floor with a backpac as a pillow start to feeling cold and survived. Do not know what is about to come....

Blogging

Thankyou so much http://song-player.com/widget/ for the playlist! Finally i can put some of my music taste here! And  i think it's so much better and easier than the other songplaylist maker on the internet.
You just click the the link, set the colour of your playlist and choose the songs that you want to put in. And it's so much easier, just find your fav songs on youtube and copy the url-link and paste to the banner of song-player.com as i just did:

You guys can put some of your taste too:))

I've been thinking about being a serious or an activeblogger, it sounds like fun and useful instead of playing games all day long. I know i'm just a teenager that doesn't know a lot of things yet. But i want to learn something and i want to share things with well whoever who wants to read my blog, and i'm so blessed if you guys read my blog and badly hope that people can enjoy my blog, i know it's kinda boring, i mean who wants to read about an almost 15th girl's daily life blog, such a weirdo.
But i want to make this weirdo-things to something that useful and worthwile.
The day when i read an article by Alitt Sutanto (@shitlicious) :  http://www.shitlicious.com/2013/01/ayo-ngeblog-ayo-gajian.html i think i would make it real someday.
For now well, i'm just living my (i knew it would be an amazing) life. Well, meet me the full time dreamer.
And i know this blog would mean something in my life, there's so many memories has written in this blog.
I want to be a doctor, i want to be a blogger and a writer, if i could then i would, so why don't we start just like.... rite now